What to paint? who knows...is it possible to have art block?, kinda like writers block, but worse? I don't know what to do anymore. I am totally confused and feel like I can't breathe. I have a voice inside my head. Its not my own voice, its a voice I have never heard before.

One part of my brain is screaming: BE TRUE TO YOURSELF and the other part is yelling: GIVE THEM WHAT SELLS!!! you silly.....

So, the dilemma.....I, like everyone else that I know(and I really do know a lot of people), are struggling these days with bills, life, etc. You go through your day in hopes of seeing that light at the end of the tunnel(and praying it isn't an oncoming train!), and a clear path of where you are going. I used to think that I had that path, but its seems these days that it is there, but overgrown with weeds and stuff. It used to be crystal clear, but somehow it seems foggy now. Part of me is the arteest that really doesn't care what people think of my work. I paint what I feel and if you don't like it, too bad. Nowadays with things, well I mean money being a bit tighter, I do care. I need to turn my art into a profitable business....OUCH! I can't believe part of me just said that! What if I do, I hesitate to say it: CONFORM....what will happen to the REAL me? Will she be lost forever??

This week I received a HUGE, I mean HUGE canvas order. I kinda put all my eggs into one super large basket. My hubby graciously re-vamped my studio to make room for the order.

He looked at all of the canvas and said: WOW, thats a lot of work. What do you think you will be painting? The same style of stuff?....I never thought to paint anything else until he mentioned it. You should start painting a few florals or real people or something...don't you agree? I almost threw-up! Why?? I asked, don't you like what I already create?? Is it not good enough or something?
After he realized that he totally blew my mind, he back tracked a bit and said that he of course loved anything that I create because I make it.......OUCH!!
Since the seed was planted in my mind about the dreaded florals or even worse, landscapes....I have started doubting my creativity. Do people just purchase from me because I'm a nice girl? Please, please offer me some positive reinforcements here people....I am dying here!!
After this conversation I painted this;


I enjoyed painting it, but is it really me? Kinda funky, but not as bold as I like, but someone may enjoy it over their couch right???
I LOVE to create. I think its in my blood and I hope it shows in my works. If its not as colorful as a rainbow, I work at it some more. Please comment so I can have some sort of help here.......
Love,
T